電影《美麗男孩》影評：Anti-parents Nic's blackhole,The cruel reality of close relationship.
美麗男孩影評My opinions may be against from the mainstream,but I do have lots of proof to validate them,you may disagree but I hope you can judge after you finished it.
I read the movie script and three original books (beautiful boy,tweak,we all fall down) and interviews from the staff(authors,actors,producer,director) , I wanna share some key information, and explain why nic became a drug addict and let the people know the truth.
Foreword: in every intimate relationship—such as marriage, friendship, and the relationship between parents and children—has a feeling of disgust and hostility. - Sigmund Freud, Ego & Id
Parents are always too demanding on their children, and children are always too easy to forgive parents.
這篇是給國外的朋友看的，因為豆瓣方便貼圖，亂翻的，國內朋友請看中文版。
Nic's drug use is not a teenager rebellion. He started drug/alcohol addiction at the age of 11, he had depression and bipolar disorder and psychological trauma, and also suffered from a family genetic problem (grandfather died of alcoholism), in short, he is sick, he is sick, he is sick, but his father didn't not know.
Nic showed a painful expression on the camera, then turned back and smiled, saying goodbye to the family. He looked at the family in the rearview mirror and what he was thinking?you will understand after reading this review.
Why Nic was addicted?
"The love on the verbal contrasts with the compromise of reality, it is so raw and cruel, those words(everything)are from true heart, and in reality, true heart is the rosebud that will wither." by poirpear
First of all, the film is consciously avoiding this. There is an interview. The staff go to find the investors. The investors ask them why nic was addicted. They think that the investors who ask this kind of question are not the ones they want to cooperate with. Timothee also talked about it in the interview, 「The WHY is not purposefully addressed, because that's not as important as the fact that the one is addicted.」 In my opinion, there is absolutely no enough time to make a clear statement about it. The influence of the film is much greater than that of the book. The motivation involves personal privacy and psychological trauma. Some people mentioned that it is to protect the original author. I agree that, if I am the father of nic, even if the staff wants to describe it from the standpoint of nic, I will probably not agree with it (it may be other reasons, I am not sure about this). After reading father's book, I actually shed tears for his dedication and his love for nic. However, when I started reading nic's book, I was shocked by what nic described. David said that he cried on every page of tweak. and many people who have read tweak may dislike nic, he's narcissist,pretentious,self-hatred, he steals money, robs, does drug trafficking, affects girlfriend to drug abuse, prostitutes to gay,destroys other families,he has lots of moral failures, but he is not a bad person, he's an ordinary person who is troubled by drugs and psychological problems. Some viewers mistakenly believe that David is a perfect dad after watching the movie or Beautiful Boy, or simply attributed his addiction to teenage rebellion and genes. In fact, nic addiction is completely traceable. There are also hints in the movie. The following are some of my summary.
Nic 's interview I was in a lot of pain growing up, and drugs were the one thing that I found that made that feel better. I felt this very immediate sense of relief. Up until that point, I had felt so insecure and uncomfortable in my own skin. I just didn’t fit in anywhere. "Addiction is a symptom of mental illness, which must be caused by upbringing experience. " a book review from tweak
Nic's father was a hippie when he was young, he cheated on his wife by falling love with nic's friend's mother,led their marriage to fail. The two often quarreled in front of the nic. nic can only hide in the panda doll to seek comfort. The parents were fighting for custody. Psychologists recommend raising together, David took the main custody, nic visited mothers during the summer and winter vacations. This joint custosy splits nic's social circle, it is difficult to establish stable interpersonal relationships, and nic's flight mileage at the age of ten has exceeded the accumulation of his father's total life.
David had been done laissez-faire education for nic, and nic had been exposed to sex, alcohol, marijuana, misanthrope and depressed writers and music, when nic used marijuana for the first time,David didn't take it seriously and revealed that he was addicted when he was young, and he also took marijuana once with nic. After the divorce, David lived a dissolute lifestyle before remarriage, threw nic to the babysitter to take care of him, and often had a one-night stand. He often brought women to the house and was greeted by nic. He took him to the red light district and attended the adult party. nic was exposed to sex too early. his first sexual consciousness was at the age of 8 to the nanny brought back by the father. The nanny was covered in tattoos, took care of the nic three times and was fired. She climbed his bed to hug him. She also took him to watch the R-rated film, nic said obscurely, but the nanny was doing sexual harassment to him, she evoked his first-time sexual consciousness, nic remembered her very clearly. It seems to be traumatic, nic first experience is 12 years old ,with a classmate who is older than him, in addition, nic's stepfather boasted his sexual experience to nic around his age of 5 , he was so scared at that time, sexual premature exposure is extremely harmful to the minor, people without similar experience is difficult to understand.
The stepmother respects nic very much, not so much as a mother. She is more like a friend of nic. She lacks the authority as a mother in front of nic. After the outbreak of nic's addiction, she instinctively wants to isolate him from the two children. his father also consciously alienated him and his younger siblings during nic's treatment. In addition, after the father was with his stepmother, he changed and completely abandoned the unhealthy way of life. Nic interpreted it as a rejection of him. His father stopped taking him to the movies, playing around, attending parties, and cutting off the past and his old social circle, Nic felt that his father no longer belonged to him completely, and even regarded him as a mistake, trying to correct everything in the past, and nic resented the changes that his stepmother brought to their lives.
After nic's mother remarried, the family was not harmonious. The stepfather had a tendency to violence and often quarreled with his mother. nic always wanted to save her mother.
Nic was diagnosed with depression and bipolar disorder,probably since childhood,David knew nothing about it.he took alcohol and drugs relieve anxieties and other symptoms,in tweak, he was associated with a woman who is 14 years older than him, He was censored in front of others, and the woman was as depraved as he was. He would not have been judged. psychiatrist told him that because of the lack of maternal love at a young age, he empathized to cast the role of the mother on this person. Nic's parents have been dissatisfied after the failure of marriage. They have never been present to nic at the same time after the divorce. There was also controversy over his custody. In front of his father, he must be loyal to his father. In front of his mother, he must be loyal to his mother. nic has a split feeling. After the his addiction broke out, his parents still blamed each other. The contradiction of their marriage was overwhelmed than their love to nic. He felt that he was unwanted. He had been sex worker when he was on the street. Besides money, he explained that he needed this feeling of being liked and needed by other.
relative deprivation (loss) is a psychology term , when people compare themselves with a standard or some reference and find themselves at a disadvantage, it produce a feeling of deprivation(loss), it will produce negative emotions, like anger, resentment,depression, low self-esteem, the simple example is a beggar would not envy millionaires but a beggar who has better income. Some people criticize nic,there are many children in the world who are more miserable than him, and many children have been exposed to poverty and crime, nic enjoys the superior material conditions, in their eyes. even in the eyes of his father, Nic is a beautiful boy who grew up in a beautiful environment, living in a beautiful house with a garden, being loved by his parents, including the stepmother and the children around him, but for nic, his reference is always Daisy and Jasper.
He suffered the above-mentioned relative deprivation on three levels. First, he liked stepmother and wanted to be loved by her. However, Karen's love for him and her love for his younger siblings could not be equal . Second, Daisy and Jasper. They have a sound and stable parent-child relationship and living the same house forever, but nic had to fly between the two cities, sacrificing social circle to enjoy the company of his father or mother. The love of his biological parents is always incomplete. Finally, I personally think that the most important point is that the father treated him and his younger siblings differently. It is more accurate to say that the father knows that he was wrong in educating nic, so he creatived a greenhouse(glass shied) for his siblings, with all-round protection and care, he learned lessons from nic, learned how to be a good father, nic seems to be a guinea pig. this is reflected in the lines of the dinner conflict, I was the amazing Thing, like your special creation or something, you don't like who I am now, I used to be a great work that you created, Now that it has failed, you don't like me. Nic detests himself and hates himself. He thinks that he is a father's failure because he is indulging in drugs. He feels that he is not loved and accepted by his father. David has two replacements, Jasper and Daisy (this worry is a fact), the father did not protect him well when he was young, but he took good care of his younger siblings with Karen. Nic compared himself to Jasper. Jasper kept the child’s innocence when he was 10 years old, playing Lego and doll figures with Daisy, but at the age of 12,nic had his first sexual experience, drinking alcohol and smoking marijuana. This difference made him feel strong injustice and grievances, as well as depression and inferiority caused by the psychological gap. His id,(aggressive desire, primitive desire) resents stepmother, envys his siblings, hates his father, but because of his "superego" (morality, conscience) and the love for his family, he can not open this resentment, Or vent any anger and dissatisfaction. When external venting channels are blocked, nic can only suppress and digest this kind of violence through internal friction, so he blames himself, self-attacks, self-abandonment, Thus, facing parents' expectations, nic must redouble his efforts to win the praise and love of his father and stepmother. After Dad's integration to his new life and family, nic became more and more aware that he is different and away from them. He often refers The dad's family as their home or their house. call stepmother as Karen, and the younger siblings as their children. He is an outsider and a visitor to this home. He was trying so hard to integrate into this family, he put on a mask,played a happy family game to make sure everyone happy,This day-to-day camouflage and disguise makes him feel guilty and tired. In the subconscious, he always wanted to escape from this situation. When he left home, the lyrics of the background describe his state of mind,(this stream isn't home no more,two extreme emotions make me abused )
In the second half of the film, nic returned to the house after a year and a half, and his room was used as a warehouse. The stepmother on the beach also carried out greenhouse care for Jasper. All the things that hurt nic were repeated, and nic felt again.he felt he was not accepted,he drew a line between him and dad's family,he put on a mask to play the happy family game, but the father could not see the pain and struggle of nic, He also forced nic to a drug test because of the lateness. These events triggered his depression(he suffered from mental illness which David didn't know at that time),when Nic parted, he noticed that Nic was sad but did not act in time. nic was doing treatment with his mother, and he was sober for 485 days. However, it took only two days to relapse after the home visit. The film spent a lot of time brewing for the fourth relapse. This arrangement is not accidental.
here's some quotes from tweak and his second book.
The life they've provided the kids has always been so stable,Jasper and Daisy have lived in the same house their whole life.I envy them,I mean, of course I do. I can't have their lives,I have to build my own-something I have no idea how to do. I'm not sure how much of it has to do with me,my dad and Karen have done everything they can to keep their children protected from all the sexuality and drugs I was exposed to. I am still just try to fit in,I fell like a visitor-a guest. It hurts me.I want to be a part of their lives.I want to be accepted as one of them. when nic talked about his feeling at high I didn't care anyone I didn't need to hold my family together I didn't need to rescue my mom from her abusive husband I didn't need to worry that my dad loved his new wife and children more than me.
(In my cognition) The reason for nic addiction is simply the predicament faced by most divorced/remarried families, the contradiction of early parental divorce, and the emotional neglect caused by the shift of the focus of the new family. As the main guardian's father's incorrect way of raising, wrong guidance, lack of maternal love, stepfather's violence, sexual and drug inadvertent exposure caused by premature exposure, contrast to the relative deprivation of the brothers and sisters of the reorganized family, All of this brought an indelible psychological trauma to the young nic. He began to look for resonance in the literary music of the world, and then escaped with alcohol and marijuana, and finally upgraded to drug addiction. The so-called motivation is very cliché, and the misfortunes of most adults can be traced back to his unfortunate childhood and lost of love.
The review title comes from a sns group that has been sealed from Douban. The main purpose is to expose the harm caused by the misconduct of the original family and parents during the childhood. I have no intention of attacking his family. In my eyes, David no doubt loves Nic very much,otherwise he would't have forced him into rehab(which cost lots of money), or even write a book to record and reflect, the film treats the negative emotions of nic in a concealed way, people who have not seen the tweak may be a mistake to think that the father is a perfect dad or that his family is perfect, and continue to consolidate the stereotype of "the greatness of love can beat everything or parents are always right". Most movies and books praise parents' love , but parents are ordinary people, no one is perfect. we human makes mistakes, love and parental authority are not excuses for avoiding responsibility and apology.
Now I show U some hidden messages from the films,according to interviews and my thoughts.
Dad picks up nic in the rain, the lyrics. suggesting that nic's drug addiction is a means of solving his psychological problems, and then cuts to nic and his father smokes marijuana for the first time.At this time, nic has been stuck in the problem of drug addiction for alongtime(he used drugs when he was 11). He proposed to his father to smoke marijuana just to justify his behavior, and he also tried to ask for help from his father. He confessed his current confusion and inner pain. But the father did not take it seriously, thinking it was just teenager rebellion, at this time nic's expression was lost and disappointed,timothee has a thorough understanding of the role , the details showed in his expression.
(this interpretation based on nic's interview)
After nic disappeared for the fourth time, Dad came alone to the place where he used to smoke marijuana with nic. If time can go back, he could have understood nic's distress signal and everything will be different.
When nic read a poem that had a profound influence on him at the university, the camera gave lens to the david 's family, The world-weary feeling of the poetry is far from the warm atmosphere of the father's family.he's so different from his family.
After the dinner scene, Dad took Daisy and Jasper to attend the graduation ceremony. The camera focused on Jasper's face. Dad is missing Nic on his graduation.
When david told the girl that her parents care about her, the girl’s questioning is nic’s questioning, you care, but you know nothing about me.
dad’s shouting 「I think we are closer than most fathers and sons」 is ridiculous in my opinion. He is arrogant person, always think he's right,this probably derived from the superiority of the white upper-middle class. He wanted to know the reasons behind Nic's addiction,questioning "Why" in a harsh voice, nic tried to tell his true thoughts inside, telling Dad that you are always disappointed in me,David yelled back, "can u blame me",this only led nic keep his mouth shut and hide his true feeling, not a child will open to this kind of parent.
"From the very beginning, every time there is a conflict, the first person who shouts must be him. It must be him who feels that he is right. It must be him who uses his own garbage life experience to define nic. He's the one who promised nic everything then gave up on him." by cactus
Insecure about his parents' divorce, nic became attached to his father,they shared a deep bond when nic was a little boy.
in the original script,David shouted in nic's face"are u going to do a coffee maker in you rest of life",they changed this conversation to Karen.
there's a delete line from his roommate in this conversation 「he's funny when he asks for a favor,hope he writes better than he cooks」 suggested nic is afraid in demanding other people.(the dinner scene from his girlfriend family also shows that)
the lyrics always tells their true feeling that is not showed on lines or conversation
Returning home requires the approval of the stepmother. He said thank you for the invitation to Karen. Nic is indeed like a visitor to this family.
When nic came back home, he saw the canvas piled in his room, the toys and boxes of his siblings, and all the posters and his paintings he put on the wall were tore off. I was really angry with his father. This is what you called everything? or it is just your hypocrisy and complacency.
Promotional photos of the film, cut from the computer typing scene, this film lighting is very elegant, half light and half dark, just corresponding to his complex mood at the moment.
"he 's typing something hesitately,keeps on deleting and rewriting "from the script.
we don't know exactly what he's writing,but somehow lyrics shows his mind.
there's a deleted scene here,david came to knock on nic's door,asking how he feels,nic can't speak out his mind,just nodding his head disappointedly.presenting everything is fine.
when nic departed david's family,he reflected on his high school graduation ceremony, the camera gave a close-up to the dad's new family(his mother excluded)
then cut back to the complicated expression of nic in rearview mirror (guess what he could saw the mirror)
Then the camera focused on clearly to his real father and mother.
the camera freeze-frame on dad's family, now we can understand what he saw from the rearview mirror.
It actually takes me lots of rewatches to notice the following fact in nic's book:
The high school graduation ceremony was the first time his parents to be present at same place for him since the divorce(he cared about it very much), He was comparing the breakdown of his original family with the warmth of his father's family. then felt the relative deprivation.
The Golden Gate Bridge is a landmark building in San Francisco. When Nic was a child, David often walked with him at Fort Point, or went to Hyde Street to eat Japanese food, or counted the boats that docked at the docks,it's a place that carried many memories of them.(he really desires to get David's love), Nic parked here to cry, he could not get the warmth of the family, so he surrenders to the pleasure of drugs.
Nic has always taken the full responsibility of addiction to himself, and never thought about blaming the environment or his family from beginning to end, which in turn deepened his self-loathing.
The stepmother's behavior is not only wanting to take nic back,but also driving him away. She wants nic to stay away from her own children. After returning home, she confessed this idea to David.Which may led david's refusal to nic later on.
When Dad refused to save nic, the film gave Karen two close-ups . Her expression was mysterious. When David wanted to look for nic, she advised him to stay and take the responsibility of the new family. Imagine if nic is her child? What makes me the most unwilling to admit about this movie is that in my opinion, David loves nic (people generally prefers the eldest son), perhaps even more than Daisy and Jasper. People are most passionate about the first child. The eight years of togetherness also made this father and son a more profound bond, but the worry in the nic's childhood is not a fake, it is cruel reality, david can indeed give up him, this may not from his true heart but for the responsibility of the new family, if nic did not miraculously survive, his father still has Daisy and Jasper for replacement, he will continue to live with the pain of losing Nic. I really like the comment from a friend. "I like this movie because it tells me that love is multi-layered,love is changing all the time, love is powerless, love is never unconditional, love is timeserving, love is like a rose that will wither,and love is the deepest despair in the world.nic's problem is just he's too smart to know that truth from the beginning."
The place where nic committed suicide is the restaurant where his father used to take him when he was a child. When nic met his father in the dinner scene, he said that it has not changed. It seems that they have not been to this place for a long time. nic chose this place to commit suicide because he missed his father's love, at that time David only belonged to him, and had infinite patiences and gentleness to him.
Nic's question reminds me of the words in father's book. Love is flexible. His expectation for nic, from the initial hope that he went to college to become a good person, turned to expect him to find a good life and be an ordinary person. When this does not work, he only hopes that nic can find inner peace. Finally, he only wants him not to die. This kind of compromise is actually an unconditionalization of love. The director said that the theme of this film is acceptance, so no matter how much nic fallen, or disappointed to his father, the father finally accepted him.
I finally say something nice to david. when reading tweak I feel that nic is really loving his father. He has always taken all his responsibilities to his addiction, he kept apologizing to everyone. When the psychiatrist pointed out Dad’s mistake, he defended his Dad,It's a one-on-one therapy and David was not present,from what I learnt from nic's second book,he even had no clue about Nic's illness(depression and bipolar disorder) until tweak published,which sounds ridiculous to me. Instead, Dad’s book has always beautified the relationship between the family and I am resentful. He is so self-indulgent. he's living in a bubble,「What a competent father I am, I know my son, my son loves me, our family is full of warmth and happiness,everyone loves nic". he failed to find out that his son was sick,and had been taking drugs for several years. At nic’s last family treatment, he also blamed nic for destroying his new family. In front of nic, he said he hope that nic will leave San Francisco, because he is afraid that nic will hurt Karen and his younger siblings, and that makes me mad a lot╰_╯ (listen! we shoud love ourselves more, rather expecting love from others, even it's your family, just like the poem mentioned at the end,the less you ask, the more happiness you will get) ,The psychiatrist and the mother said a few fair words.but David hurts nic so many times,in fact they hurting each other all the time,If nic does not write this book, I guess he never understands his real fault.
When I went back to check the suicide note, I found that the last shot was modified. In the original script, nic wanted to give David a smile as he always do. (he wants to please his dad), but unable to do it so he cried out loud.
In the last shot of the film, the father and son are sitting in the shadow, nic is crying and cuddling into his father's arms, like a little baby,they're separated from the light but also close to it,their relationship seems to have a hint of Nirvana rebirth, just because he is his unique rosebud, his beauty of wholehearted watering, his everything.
I actually like nic's father very much, and nic and dad's parent-child time together. His love for nic is really touching me. He made my definition of unconditional love, nic is not willing to blame dad, so I come out and do some justice for him. I don't want to lead everyone to hate Dad. I will continue to like them when I finish the review.
I saw someone saying that I was making excuses for Nic's drug use, or that although his experiences were sympathetic, he was not qualified to fall. Some film reviews also compared him with the inspirational protagonist of "Wild Life" and said that Nic is a spoiled kid, and the other protagonist is mature and brave when the family is broken, not to mention that the former is a true story, while the latter is only a fictional literary work (the beautiful projection of human nature in people's minds), besides nic’s experience and trauma was caused in his childhood, his mind did not evolve to have abilities to deal with his negative emotions. How do you even have optimism, goodwill, responsibility when u don't understand what the meaning of them? The most basic and most common attribution mistake in social psychology is that people always ignore the situation or environment, but attribute the mistakes to the inside(personal) and not to the external . In fact, nic is also the case. he took all the responsibilities, blamed himself and self-attacks, he can't like himself cuz he made a lot of mistakes, if you even deny yourself, how can you heal? The most common way to treat psychotherapy is to let the patient admit that it is not your fault, let go of self-loathing, and only ones who love themselves are qualified to love others,blaming nic just like blaming the poor for poverty because they don't work hard, you can say that Nic made the wrong decision, but I don't think you can guarantee you could do better than him if you face the same situation, I like timothee's award-winning speeches in the awards season, it's also his takeaway of participating in the film, let me share with you: "real humans, real stories with a dedicated focus bringing light to humanity authentically is fuckin inspiring and i look forward to a night acknowledging not our invincibility but rather the art in our flaws" - timothée chalamet #psiff19
Nic's suicide note: I need pills, weed, vials of liquid acid. I need a thousand pounds of heroin. I need to drown myself in methamphetamine.I wish it would all just go away. I wish I didn’t have to exist. I don’t mean actually dying, I just want to vanish - disappear - and become part of the ethos.
(1.20 update) The new discovery, the film is a double perspectives, the black hole theory in the film begins in 1 hour, the whole film is two hours, very clear two-section cutting. The camera cut to the point where he drove on the shoreline and began to enter his perspective, including flashbacks.
The angle of view switching is also reflected in the background music. The lyrics of the previous hour are the voice of Dad, and the second half is describing the voice of nic.
The second half of the film began to explain what nic's black hole is. nic recalls that his father remarried (the stepmother appeared like a intruder to make his father not belong to him completely). Family conflicts (his room became a warehouse,stepmother's disapproval, father's emotional neglect and distrust, father and stepmother's greenhouse care for younger siblings, the breakdown of original family VS dad's perfect family at high school graduation ceremonies, from bringing up black holes theory to fourth relapse, the film explained everything.