電影《芭蕾少女夢》影評：The Repressive, The Expressive and The Inherent

Most LGBT films are either extremely repressive or expressive. LGBT is about being different, and it is indeed a challenge to the outside world: social relations, religious beliefs, family values, even laws and politics. Stories could get repressive when the mainstream overrules the difference. On the other hand, they could be overly expressive when that difference resists, with extravagant presentations of performance, parade, or display of affection.

The movie 「Girl」 is unique, because it is not about such challenge, but about the conflicts inside one’s mind. Lara, the heroin, has a supportive family and a friendly community. However being different can still be difficult, even in a loving and accepting crowd.

Two scenes I find quite impressive:

1. When Lara felt guilty

Lara’s dad was confused why Lara had been upset when everything seemed just fine. At the kitchen table, Lara finally revealed that she felt guilty that, to help her, her dad changed job and moved home, and her brother lost friends by going to a new school. Her dad responded with the most powerful words, 「I was driving a taxi then and I am still driving a taxi now. Your brother is five and he has no sense of making real friends. We are the way are, not getting worse. So what are you blaming yourself for?」 The sense of guilt is the inherent weakness of many LGBT people. But remember, gratefulness is the appreciation of help, not guilt.

2. When Lara’s classmates asked to see her body

In my opinion, Lara’s classmates were not trying to make fun of her. They thought it was fair to see her body as she had seen theirs. It sounded reasonable because they were treating her as equals. However, Lara’s classmates were not aware that Lara was not comfortable with her body, while they were used to being comfortable with theirs. This is a typical LGBT scenario, getting hurt because of one's insecurities when nobody means harm. It's not always right to regard everyone as equals, sometimes it's about acknowledging and respecting their insecurities.

Even without external conflicts, the internal self-loathing, guilt and insecurities could still kill a life. Sometimes the key to survive is not to resist what’s outside, but to reconcile what’s inside. Love yourself, no matter what. And everything starts from that.

I like this movie. It is rational, calm. It is a great LGBT film by showing its regard in a new perspective.